Pensive...Thinking...Speaking...Writing...Thoughts

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I am just the next guy in line. I am the man at the streetcorner, the fellow asleep at the back of the greyhound. I am the man at the bank, the guy mowing your lawn because you were sick and I was mowing mine at the same time. I am the kid letting you share my towel at the pool, the guy at the beach handing you the tickets to the concert, the strange guy in the corner of the coffee shop. I am the guy that holds the sign by the side of the road "Because Jesus Loves You." I am the guy changing your flat tire for you, filling your tank with gas, buying you groceries, and helping your kids get school supplies. I am the guy who everyone points at and says "I would never be able to do that". All because Christ has given me strength. I love you guys because Jesus loves me.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Bringing in old writings of mine - Presume to Assume

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Do not presume to assume. This presumption of assumption will lead to dischord. Dischord and division tear apart, they are a wall blocking life and the living thereof. Assumption of presumption too will lead towards division and disharmony.

When all failure to communicate, when all hope is gone, then that which has been built, that which has been done, that which might yet be - it is all in vain. Refuse.

Everything created through dischord is bound to fail and disintigrate. Everything, lest its foundations be stronger than that which tears, will be cleaft. Nothing is left.

Yet to find such a foundation, such a strength is difficult indeed, but in the finding, there is a final hope for the future. A lasting rock upon which to build anew amdist the rubble of despair.

Remember this: "Never to suffer would never to have been blessed." Edgar Allan Poe

Bringing in old writings of mine - I am

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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I am the ruler by which all others are measured

The bar over which they must hurdle.

I am the obstacle in their path they must dodge

The golden apple they must pick up mid-stride.

I am the one to which they should come, trembling

Quivering, worried, excited, and dismayed.

I am your father/brother/mother/sister/friend

Bringing in old writings of mine - Communal Responsability

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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At what point does personal responsability turn into communal responsability? What about the converse?

Personal responsability is something that is sadly lacking in todays culture, and because of the close relationship between personal responsability and communal responsability, communal responsability is also lacking.

For most people personal responsability is something they want to be seen with, but dont practice . Everyone wants to take the credit but no one wants to accept the blame. But personal responsability requires the taking of blame as well. It means that if you loose your job, it wasnt because your boss was stupid, it was because you did not work properly. If I dont sell enough to make my boss happy, then its not the customer's fault, it is my own. If I want the rewards, I must take the losses as well. That is personal responsability - taking care of everything pertaining to ones self.

Communal responsability is where personal responsability meets a group of people. Because everyone is intertwined in actions and life in a community, no matter if it is a neighborhood or in a work environment, everyone's actions affect everyone elses actions. Communal responsability requires that one take personal responsability further. Yes, if you empty the coffee pot, turn off the heater and throw away the grounds, but ALSO make a new pot. If you dirty a dish, dont expect for someone else to clean it when they clean their stuff. Its not just something that must and should be done, it is just common sense, and that is one great loss to our world. Common sense has left most people and so now it is not-so-common.

Personal responsability requires that I do my devotions daily in an effort to better myself. Communal responsability requires that I pay attention to those around me and try to better them. This may require teaching, it may require having a sit-down "chat" with them, but whatever I can do to increase the potential of others is part of my personal responsability to the community. The reverse is true, whatever the community can do to increase my potential and better me, they should do.

Where does personal responsability meet communal responsability? At the most basic level they come together at you. What do you have to do today to better yourself and those around you?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Bringing in old writings of mine - Conservation of Thought

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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A thought from this past weekend: There is a law of conservation of mass, but are there any other laws similar to that? I proposition "Conservation of Thought". Yes. There is a constant amount of thought in this world. That is why people seem to be getting stupider and stupider, even though we keep dropping the standards.

In DaVinci's day there were less people than there are now, so the extremes between those who had much of the though and those who didnt was not as large. The average thought capabilites were much higher. Again, Emmerson and Thoreaou I proffer up as examples. The renesance happened and there was a high thought average. Now we watch television all day and the average thought per person is quite low. What we consider intelligence is mearly an above average holding of thought capabilies.
Now this doesnt mean that new things can not be invented cause of no new thoughts. New things come from old thoughts that are put together differently.

Bringing in old writings of mine - True Christians

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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I am only going to be talking today to those that consider themselves Christians. If you do not consider yourself a Christian, then you have my permission, NAY, my BLESSING to not read this, or to read a book, to wave your arm in the air, play Nintendo DS or whatever you feel like. This is not aimed towards you.

For the rest of you, I ask you this: What does it mean to be a true Christian? What all does it entail?

First of all, WHAT is taught as being a true Christian? A Christian is someone who has dedicated their life to Christ. Okay, that is a Sunday school answer. Anything else? Someone who is a good person. Okay. A Christian is someone who Puts God first in their life. Can we all agree on that? Does this all make any sense? Good.

Okay, that wasn’t too hard, but that’s basics. It deals with very little. A baby believer knows that. The basics are important. The Bible is God’s word, Jesus came to earth, died for our sins, and rose again. We, by believing in Him, are cleansed of our sins and we can now enter Heaven when we die. The basics.

Lets go further now. Lets see what a TRUE believer is.

A true believer is someone who believes in God…but even the demons believe in God. A true believer believes that Jesus is the Son of God, but the demons have that as well. A true believer understands the tri-person of the Godhood (yes, the father, son, and holy spirit, the trinity), all this even demons believe to!

A true believer has come to grips with their sinfulness, their own personal sin. Remember that Christianity is a “sinner’s religion[1]”. A true believer will understand that Christ HAD to come and die, for the COST of sin, ANY sin, is DEATH. Christ died so that we may live.

A True Christian understands that by surrendering their life to Christ, it is NO LONGER their own. They have no right to their own body, their MIND, their SOUL, their BLOOD, their HAIR, their CLOTHING, even their EATING. Anything that has to do with the body has been given, surrendered to Christ, bought by HIS blood, paid for by His death.

This means that a true Christian will NEVER knowingly lie or mislead someone. A true Christian lets God do as God wishes in their life. There can be no argument with God. This means that you can NOT dress in a way that contradicts the Bible. You cannot wear your hair in a contradictory style, you cannot TALK in a non-biblically approved way. You cannot LISTEN to music or watch television that God wouldnot watch. Of course, these all will take us to other topics that we do not have the time for. But you get the point.

A true Christian’s life will get harder after they come to a personal saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, not easier. This world belongs to Satan, he and God are enemies, and Satan desires to have more people with him in HELL rather than in Heaven. He will do everything he can to disturb a real walk with Christ.

Troubles come, but take heart, when you survive trials, temptations, and problems you come closer to Christ. I’m sure that you all know this, but have you really learned and taken this to heart? I always hear people complaining about their life, why can it not be easier, why this and why that. I see their lives and I wonder what trials they go through, what problems they have. Their lives are comfortable ones, the problems they go through are merely those that come naturally with work and school. I wonder why people don’t question why their life is so comfortable, why things are always available for them. I see this and wonder why they think that they are good Christians.

Christianity is God reaching out to Man. We are sinful and can NEVER be perfect. Christ died so that we will not be forever parted from God. Christ died because we are sinners, and we are still sinners. Christ’s blood atones and sanctifies us, but does not absolve us from the consequences of our evil deeds. We still need to daily keep ourselves accountable in everything to our God, our Father, our Savior.

We will sin, we will commit evil during our lives. We cannot escape this fact. Since the fall of man, we have been naturally evil. We cannot get away from ourselves, yet if we rely on God, he will bring us closer to him.

Brother Lawrence says, “ When we are faithful to keep ourselves in His holy Presence, and set Him always before us, this hinders our offending Him, and doing anything that may displease Him.”

My conclusion is this: A true Christian recognizes his own fallen nature and will constantly seek to better himself, to constantly reach towards Christ no matter what the cost. The cross is only the beginning of the journey. Why should you go to the doctor, and take only part of the medicine he gives you. Should you not take the whole dose for the entire time? The same way you should not only reach for the basics and be content. The cross is ONLY the beginning. Once you reach the cross, you still have your whole life before you.
“What idea have you of the salvation of your soul? The experience of salvation means that, in your actual life, things are really altered. You no longer look at things as you used to; your desires are new, old things have lost their power. One of the touchstones of experience is--Has God altered the thing that matters? If you still hanker after the old things, it is absurd to be talking about being born from above, you are juggling with yourself. If you are born again, the Spirit of God makes the alteration manifest in your life and reasoning, and when the crisis comes you are the most amazed person on earth at the wonderful difference that there is in you. There is no possibility of imagining that you did it. It is this complete and amazing alteration that is the evidence that you are a saved soul." ~Oswald Chambers~

[1] McMahon, Matthew C. "What is a Biblical Christian." A Puritan's Mind. ©1998-2006. .

Bringing in old writings of mine - Role Models

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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I realize who I admire in this world. I do not admire athletes, their victories are fleeting. I do not admire doctors, they bring health to people but beyond that are not rememberd. I do not admire Law-enforcement because they too pass. Their actions, true, may maintain rightness and decency in this world, but their affect on the later generations is little. I do not admire Lawyers, law mongering, loop-hole pushing gold diggers that many of them are.

Who I admire are the wordsmiths, those able to write down what they think and believe and feel, those who can say for many what the many are not able to put words too. Philosophers and inventors, Physicists and English proffesors, Linguists and Theologians. I admire those who embody life and expression, those who develop others as they develop themselves. Many of these authors did not live celebrated lives, but lived humbly as their people did, sharing everything and writing what could help others.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Grace

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Grace is God's gift to man, giving us what we dont deserve instead of what we DO deserve.

Grace is God forgiving us for what we have done. Grace IS NOT God forgiving us for what we are going to do.

When you are forgiven, it means you will try your best not to do it again. "Go ye and sin NO MORE". While we are currently under the Law of Grace, we are still not allowed to sin and say "Oh, God will forgive me". When that argument is used, it cheapens the grace of God, making it an accomidty than a gift. The grace of God was bought by Blood, and by the Blood, with the Blood are we as Christians cleansed of all unrighteousness. Unrighteousness INCLUDES misusing Grace. How can you claim to be a Christian and living under Grace when Grace means nothing to you? You cant. The argument that "We are living under grace, so its okay man" means absolutely nothing.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Insomnia

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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I sit alone in my room. My glasses sit forlornly on a trunk by my bed. I have yet to wear them today. I type by touch alone plus a familiarity with the program that I use. My room is a wreck. I have unpacked much, but I have yet to put each peice into its respective places. The throbbing in my left temple has yet to subside, growing stronger as the day goes by. It will disapear tomorrow when I actually wear my glasses. Itunes is playing a lovely CD, City on a Hill. After all, sunday morning begins saturday night.

I sit alone in my room. I have returned from the first Chai party of the semester. I realize that I probably drank too much there since I am now suffering from the odd effects that only I seem to get. Unlike others I mearly become calmer. Rather than being a stimulant for me, caffeine is mearly a depressent. I drank too much chai. I desire sleep, but I would rather stay awake. I desire conversation, I desire human company. Instead I sit by my computer listening to music, wondering if I should return to the chai. If I retunr to the chai I will however be drinking more chai, much to the detriment of my health and welfare.

I sit alone in my room. I would rather be watching a movie, but I would fall asleep if a movie were playing. I must be doing something to refrain from the sleep that will inevitably come, so I type and type. My mind wanders occasionaly and the topics I should write about wind about, encircling my head and then pass out of existance, pushed by the next idea. The ideas come slower than normal since I am tired and not really able to be good company. I do realize one thing however...I am a much better writer when I am alone and suffering under caffeine effects..

I sit alone in my room. I shall sleep well tonight.

I sit alone in my room.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Self

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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"Be yourself" People are always telling you this. In every movie, in every song, in every book "Be yourself" is one of the major messages. Nature versus Self, Self verses Self, Self verses Others, all of these are themes or plots that are used, but in every case the hero is one who at the finale, acts as he is and shows his true colours. With two dimensional characters this is difficult to show since there is no understanding of the characters. With three dimensional characters whose souls are bared for every viewer and reader to see this is much easier. Many of us identify with 3D characters, and yet we try to encase everyone else in two dimensional characters. When we deal with other REAL people, we treat them as if they are 2D characters, and so we are suprised when they show indecision, or impatience, or any number of characteristics that 3D characters show.

We must all face the facts. Mankind loves boxing people up into little nice boxes. Every person must be diagnosed, analysed, and then placed in a corner with others... Be yourself, let your true nature show, Who you are is more important than what you are, Who you are is more important that what people see you as. These are all complete LIES. People REALLY want others to act according to the box that they have been put into. Catagory by category, class by class, social station by social station. There is a stigma that is attached to everone, and therefore they are forced to conform to society's views. Oh yes we honour those who break free of the stigma and prove that they are unique. We tell stories about people who overcome odds to become famous, to be able to walk again, to be rich, to be successful. These people who overcome are individuals to be admired, and we wonder why there are not more of them around as we try to destroy those who attempt to "be themselves." We forget that these are the few individuals who make it through the culling process set up by mankind to weed out those who are different, those who are strange, those who dont fit the mold.

Why do people get depressed with their perfect lives, their wonderful family, all the envious neighbors? I proposition that it is because they are all unahppy with being stuck and labeled by society, AND AS WE TELL THEM TO BE TRUE TO THEMSELVES, WE REMOVE WHO THEY ARE AND MAKE THEM ONE OF THE REST!

Why are we upset when people act differently from what we thought they would do? This is simply because they are people with thought processes as well! Just because we treat them as if they are 2D does not make them any LESS 3D. It just proves our own shallowness.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Clothing

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Clothing is a big deal Matter of fact, clothing is a multi-million dollar per year deal. I dont have a problem with clothing in and of itself, infact I applaud clothing and wish that people would wear some. There is the crux of the matter so to speak. People are NOT wearing clothing, now I know that your going to say, "Yo Carter, I was just outside today, and last I knew, everybody had something covering them." I will agree with that. EveryBODY had something over it, but not everyONE was wearing clothes. What I saw everyBODY wearing were some "how to wash" tags held together by strings. REAL people wear REAL clothes. Things that DONT show off the bellybutton, things that don't draw attention to your "unmentionables" that you hide in the bottom of your drawer when mummy-dearest comes to visit.

As guys, we are visually based. That means that unless we are always paying attention when dealing with girls, our eyes will track to whatever the girls are showing off. A modestly dressed girl is much more attractive to us guys than an im-modest one because we can see their face and eyes. Now you girls are proud of the way that you dress, and thats all right. go ahead and be proud, but be proud of dressing responsibly. You can claim that it's the guy's fault if his eyes wander but that doesnt justify you dressing in such a manner as to ATTRACT his eyes to wander. You can also claim that you are dressing more modestly than soandso. Sure you might be dressing more modestly than soandso, but Hitler also killed less people than Stalin did, so does that make Hitler any less of a murderer? What I am saying is that there is an ABSOLUTE standard of modesty - either you are or you are not. Guys should also be aware of dressing im-modestly but it isnt as much an issue since girls are not visually based like gus are. Guys, we dont need to wear tight pants and revealing clothes either. Fortunately for us, baggy is acceptable dress.

You dont have to dress in sacks, but you dont have to wear figleaves either. God gave Adam and Eve clothes made from animal skins to cover their shame. If he made Adam and Eve cover their shame, why are we showing OFF our shame?

Bringing in old writings of mine - Writing

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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What is the purpose of language? What is the purpose of art? I say the purpose is to communicate thoughts and ideas of substance. We all know people who write for the sake of comments, but what about people who write things that trouble them, or write what they want to, but do not expect any responses? What about People who create something worth reading rather than self propagandist angst, drivel, and quizzes? This is something i have been wondering, this is something that I have thought about and pondered over.

This is the conclusion to which I have come:

There are too few people who write truly for the sake of writing.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Changing the World

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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We cannot change the world if we cannot change ourselves. We do not have the strength to change ourselves. God is the only one with the strength, and we must bow to him in servitude. He is THE light, THE way, THE truth. THE alpha, THE omega, THE man. God gave us this world to rule for Him, and we have made a mess of it. Where did our concern for life go? It went with Roe-vs-Wade and many other such rulings. Where did our ability to effect positive change go? It went with prayer...right out of schools and courts. Where did our self respect go? It went with the coming of television and "model" people. Where did we go wrong? In the garden. The final question comes...How do we fix this? We pray and fast over this world. We seek not our will, but Gods, not our glory, but His. We choose God, not the world. This will cause us problems on this earthly plane, but we overcome and complete the race, eventually coming face to face with Christ, where we will gain our reward.

In the end, I fell asleep, after reading several chapters. The calming presence of God surrounding me as I slept, warming me and protecting me from the dreams this world brings.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Value of Life

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Thinking upon the value of life, many things come into play such as, how much it takes to raise a child, how much it takes to feed a child, how much that child will make when they grow up, how many people does this child affect in their lifetime, what they do, or plan to do, etc.

The value of a person is commonly said to be "priceless". I say that is wrong. Priceless is just another way of saying that the value of a person is too high to be met right now.

The true value of a person is death.

Sooner or later, we must all pay for the life we have, we experience this fleeting world's pleasures and pains, trials and temptations, joys and sorrows. For all this, we must pay the price. Even those of us who choose to follow Christ must pay the price of living. He paid the cost of sins for us, but we must experienc life for ourselves. The cost of sin is eternal death, the cost of life is physical death, the price of eternal life is to accept Christ's punishement and Him as our Lord, Saviour and God. For everything there is a price; for every choice, a consequencel; for every action, a reaction. The laws that God put in place cannot be broken by man. The question comes. What are you paying for, and is it worth it?

Bringing in old writings of mine - Peace and Truth

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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About PEACE:

"Mankind does not desire PEACE, but rather an absence of WAR" this is an original quote by me as far as i can tell. yes I will back up the above statement. People keep talking about peace, but when they do, they mean as in no fighting between countries and so forth. True peace is not just that, but also acceptance of life, situations, and more. It is no emnity between anyone. No i dont mean that in a peaceful situation that there wont be bikering, but it will be amicable bikering. no hard feelings from it, just a difference of opinion. most of all, PEACE MUST COME FROM A UNIVERSAL DESIRE. one country/person cannot dictate peace....

About TRUTH:

What is truth? many people say that truth changes from person to person, culture to culture and so forth. How can this be? Simplified: IT CANT. Truth by its very nature must be so that it applies equally to everyone. The sun rose this morning. THAT IS TRUTH. the sun will rise tomorrow. THAT IS BELIEF. Until the sun rises tomorrow, saying that it will cannot be true. just because it has every day, doesnt mean that it will tomorrow.....

Bringing in old writings of mine - 01 July 2004

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Yes. i see life. Life is the same all over the world, it doesnt matter where you are.

Today Bekah came to visit. She goes to school at EMU, so we went on a "picnic" with 4 of her friends. yeah it was cool and all meeting all of them. I felt left out of the conversation, but then, hey, she goes to school here, and her friends live around here mostly, so they had more to talk about. Me? I saw her last at RVA graduation and before that it was 10th grade. She was really reallly hyper, and she had only had a bit of coffee today. heh. I wish I was as affected. I drink about 5 cups or so at work a day, plus my morning tea, and that just keeps me normal-ish.to get any affect at all with this wad that im drinking then i need at least a couple pots. ugh. oh well right? yeah.

I guess that I am again being confronted with the fact that i am used to being alone. I realize this every so often and think about it. Well, I think ive gotten used to the feeling of being alone since being ignored doesnt really bother me as much as it used to. I used to get really really depressed, but now i just get a bit sadder. Alone. You can be alone in a crowd. trust me, I know. I have no connection with my apartment mates. Usen is the closest, but he is from Nigeria, and his fam are business people or something. Jason and Jonathan are both city boys here for the cash. I walk everywhere, except work (where I carpool). I get cussed out for being on the sidewalk by guys in trucks. At work Im again doing hoses, and will probably be on hoses for quite some time. they have shelves and shelves of B-nuts that I have to clean, put togther, bag and tag, then re-shelve. in that order. Ive already gone through a couple thousand this week, and Im not done with the immediate needs parts room. WHAT ABOUT THE WAREHOUSES? I keep to myself when I go places, when I am in a group, I just expect to be ignored now. Even at church. I expect to be ignored, they just started saying "Hi" two weeks ago. I have six weeks left here about. if it took them 5 weeks to say "Hi" when do they get to "Good Morning"? Yeah. anyway last night I read a Matt Riley book instead of studying AC 43-4A like I should have. it wasnt bad. This weekend Im just going to be myself. meaning i am going to take the bus to the library and just sit there and read the entire weekend away. if anyone has anything to say, go ahead. Ill read it.

Bringing in old writings of mine - Bachelorhood

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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If you have ever eaten your food straight out of the pot/pan....

If you use an old pizza box as a plate, since all your others are dirty....

If you play air-guitar while IM-ing or typing on the computer....

If you pull out a sleeping bag, instead of changing your sheets....

If your room looks worse than somalia....

If you use boxes and suitcases as furniture....

If your too lazy to clean the fridge....

If you drink milk from the bottle....

If you use walmart bags for nearly everything....

If your emergency supplies consist of ducktape....

If you do stupid stuff like this....

....You are a bachlor/bachlorette

Bringing in old writings of mine - Depression

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Depression is not good. Depression leaves you feeling alone, and yet there is a rush to it. I would like to thank the many people that have given me this almost continual rush. I have just one thing to say to you:

Do you feel happy now? If you use me as some sort of self image thing, then shame on you. if you ever WERE one of my friends, and not just pretending then, hey I forgive you, but for the REST OF YOU, if you have anything to say about me, or to me, or involving me, THEN SAY IT TO MY FACE. I am getting sick and tired of all you pathetic people who are so involved with your freedom's and rights that you dont give a rip about anyone else. There ARE other people around you know, and even if you dont know anyone that you'r ideas, you'r jokes, you'r beliefs, you'r self-involving others-screwing personally idealic yet reprehensible and insignificant world is hurting, believe me, they are there.

So get a life you wimps. Act your age instead of the first digit of your SS number, or better yet, all of you get together and form your own country so that the rest of us dont have to look at your scabrous, vitriolic and otherwise not-so-good looking mugs anymore. Now if you will excuse me, my straight-jacket will be arriving at anymoment so to prevent me from doing any harm to certain people at this school. Goodbye, they may let me out after exams are over.