Bringing in old writings of mine - 01 July 2004

*These have some worthwhile value, but they have been written over a period of several years*
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Yes. i see life. Life is the same all over the world, it doesnt matter where you are.

Today Bekah came to visit. She goes to school at EMU, so we went on a "picnic" with 4 of her friends. yeah it was cool and all meeting all of them. I felt left out of the conversation, but then, hey, she goes to school here, and her friends live around here mostly, so they had more to talk about. Me? I saw her last at RVA graduation and before that it was 10th grade. She was really reallly hyper, and she had only had a bit of coffee today. heh. I wish I was as affected. I drink about 5 cups or so at work a day, plus my morning tea, and that just keeps me normal-ish.to get any affect at all with this wad that im drinking then i need at least a couple pots. ugh. oh well right? yeah.

I guess that I am again being confronted with the fact that i am used to being alone. I realize this every so often and think about it. Well, I think ive gotten used to the feeling of being alone since being ignored doesnt really bother me as much as it used to. I used to get really really depressed, but now i just get a bit sadder. Alone. You can be alone in a crowd. trust me, I know. I have no connection with my apartment mates. Usen is the closest, but he is from Nigeria, and his fam are business people or something. Jason and Jonathan are both city boys here for the cash. I walk everywhere, except work (where I carpool). I get cussed out for being on the sidewalk by guys in trucks. At work Im again doing hoses, and will probably be on hoses for quite some time. they have shelves and shelves of B-nuts that I have to clean, put togther, bag and tag, then re-shelve. in that order. Ive already gone through a couple thousand this week, and Im not done with the immediate needs parts room. WHAT ABOUT THE WAREHOUSES? I keep to myself when I go places, when I am in a group, I just expect to be ignored now. Even at church. I expect to be ignored, they just started saying "Hi" two weeks ago. I have six weeks left here about. if it took them 5 weeks to say "Hi" when do they get to "Good Morning"? Yeah. anyway last night I read a Matt Riley book instead of studying AC 43-4A like I should have. it wasnt bad. This weekend Im just going to be myself. meaning i am going to take the bus to the library and just sit there and read the entire weekend away. if anyone has anything to say, go ahead. Ill read it.